From Brahma to Buddha, Fall 2007

Today we made a joyous daytrip to Sarnath and Deer Park, the place where the Buddha gave his first teachings. All was well, but I was suffering from an itchy eye that I assumed had something to do with my contacts that I have been wearing for far too long, as I left my extras in a bag at Delhi, thinking I would have an earlier chance to pick them up. An Indian man witnessed me rubbing me eye, and apparentely could not stand idly by since it was obvious I was suffering. He grabbed my face in between both his hands and using his thumbs, he pulled apart my eyelids and went in very close to look for that rogue eyelash or piece of dust that ailed me. It seemed he couldn't find it because after looking for a couple of seconds he figured a full on cleansing was in order. He told me not to close my eyes as he worked up a large breath and blew into my eye with a very powerful, quick puff. Then he started to brush my eyelashes with his index fingers, holding my entire head in between his two large hands the entire time. He finished and said, "Now you are good... Okay?" I didn't really know how to respond to this so I said, "Yes. Good,"
and walked away.
After a superb cleaning that only a stranger in India would ever do to another stranger and not have that person think he was being assaulted, I noticed that whatever made my eye itch, hadn't left me yet. I decided to take my contact out and rinse it off with water. I looked down at it expecting to find a tiny piece of dust or some hair or who knows what in this country. To my horror the only thing I found was a tiny little rip right in the center... A worthless lens.
My glasses were thirty minutes and too many ruppies away, so I had to persue some other solution. After a good three mintues of bumming I found a nice bandana to use for an eye patch... walking around with both eyes open, one nearly blind and one with perfect sight would have given me a headache. There was no other choice than to pose as a pirate. I spent the entire rest of the day almost getting hit by cars, falling down stairs, walking into trees, and looking completely insane as my depth perception and equilibrium tried to adjust to using one eye.
I would have despaired.....
But I just looked so damn cool with that eye patch.

My story is a little anti-climactic I know.
Yarrr...
Dread Pirate Roy (my last name is Royal)